In “Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come Wa Machigatteiru. (やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている。), Oregairu (俺ガイル)” LN v10, As I wrote before in 1st Memorandum, Watari-sensei wrote 3 Memorandum but didn’t reveal who are the owner of each monologue. This time, I will try analyze memorandum continue from the first. I think it is the most difficult memorandum, the second.
I read comments from sites that discussed about the owner. For my opinion, when v10 was released, I really don’t know who is the right answer. After read comments from those sites, I still can’t find any solid evidences to make me confident who is. Some comments said this is Yukino, some said it’s Hayato.
- Please read Attention page first, to let you understand that my all analysis are not 100% right. All of them mix with my assumption/guess as well, more or less. If you expect absolute reliable analysis, I can’t provide them to you.
- Gigantic spoilers after this point.
- Before you proceed more than this, I recommend you to read/watch LN, anime & manga -Monologue-. Especially, this analysis focused on LN v10 because this memorandum is in there only.
Filter possible answers (as usual).
Like I did in my analysis in the first memorandum. I will filter possible answers. With less candidates, it might be easier for me to look for who is monologue owner.
Find who likes to read.
I will use the same trick, since in this memorandum, this person read many novel books like he/she is searching something. Some of them is No Longer Hum*n and Run, M*los! It means one of his/her hobbies is reading. So the next step is filter anyone who has this hobby.
- Hikigaya Hachiman (比企谷 八幡): As a loner, reading is the best.
- Yukinoshita Yukino (雪ノ下 雪乃): When you enter her club, what she always does is reading.
- Yukinoshita Haruno (雪ノ下 陽乃): One of her hobbies is reading. And in doughnut shop (LN v8), we see there’re thick books at her table.
- Hayama Hayato (葉山 隼人): Are you surprised? I never know when he reads any books. He likes sports but reading is his hobby too.
- Hiratsuka Shizuka(平塚 静): She likes ramen and manga too.
- Ebina Hina (海老名 姫菜): Yes, as a fujoshi, reading is one of her skill (but please ask me which manga she likes to read). Her fav is LN.
- Zaimokuza Yoshiteru (材木座 義輝): He aims to be a writer, then reading (manga & LN) is necessary.
This list is the result from looking in their profiles. (If I miss someone, please tell me via comment, OK?) Then, what should I do next?
In this memorandum, this person wants the farce of altruistic self-interest to be seen through by someone. It means that this person doesn’t want to reveal her/himself to be public but wants someone to see through her/him. S/he has expectation but it seems this wish was not fulfilled yet.
These people below can’t survive in the next round. Let’s see why.
- In case of
Harunowould not be the right answer because she was seen through by Hachiman and few characters. She doesn’t mind to slip her mask a bit to let people see right through her easier.
- If you see the first picture above (Haruno and Hachiman are talking), she mentioned that Hayama also expects something will find him.
- Please read Oregairu analysis about the third memorandum for more info, because she is waiting for that person who can see right through her.
- In case of
Hachiman, he almost survive to the next round. I mean, we know he is loner and wants to be alone. But he wishes to has friend relationship and has girlfriend. Moreover, when he said earlier he wants genuine, later, he tries to maintain love triangle relationship between him, Yukino and Yuigahama unintentionally because he is so scared that “friend relationship” he always wishes, will disappear if he doesn’t maintain it. They were caught later by Haruno. He was seen through by her but never expect someone will notice his altruistic self-interest. So I will count him out.
- In case of
Zaimokuza. He is Otaku, body & soul. I don’t really know he wants people to see right through him if he has another self. But when I see him try to achieve his own goal (to be the novelist), pro in fighter game. He really means that. He is what he wants to be.
Ebina, she is like Yukino’s case. She is wearing fujoshi mask and yaoi aura and doesn’t want anyone to destroy her AT field (yet).
So the candidates in final round are Yukino and Hayato. I am not sure who should be the final answer yet but this person wants someone will see through and understand him/her.
- In case of Yukino…
- She is the type that will not allow people to see right through her, herself who is weak until now.When Hachiman talks about “genuine” with Yukino and Yuigahama, she tries to hold herself so both of them will not notice. And this theory confirms when she runs away to maintain herself so her inner self will not be revealed. When he and Yuigahama follow her to outside, it seems she calms down a bit.
- However, Yukino expects at least Hachiman and Yuigahama will understand her by themselves although she doesn’t need to tell them about her. We can notice this when Hachiman can avoid Yukino and Yuigahama to be the school president, Yukino realizes he is the one who helps Isshiki Iroha (一色いろは) to be the school president. And she realizes more that Yuigahama is pleased that Isshiki’s problem is solved by his doing. So she mutters a bit that she hopes Hachiman (or maybe Yuigahama too, I’m not sure) could understand why she tries to become the school president. It appears that she wants to solve Isshiki’s problem with her own hard work, and her reason to run the school president, is to erase Haruno’s opinion about her before.
- In case of Hayama is not different much from Yukino’s case. He never show/tell people or his friends about how he feels, not once.
Both Yukino and Hayato have their own image clearly.
Their images are clear…
- Yukino is the strong/honest/cool girl in Hachiman’s opinion. Strong, honest, straightforward and cool are what her image tells him directly.
- Hayato is a nice guy in Hachiman’s opinion. Kind, gentle, friendly, always help everyone, response every expectations. All of them mixed in his image.
These are images that Hachiman thinks after used human observation skill. If he thinks like this, then I assume almost everyone around both of them would think like him too, because their images are clear.
…or they are illusion.
… Both of them are the same in some way. However, when this person read “No Longer Hum*n”, s/he mentioned about him/herself is more diminutive, cowardly, and vulgar than the existence in that book. What does this mean? Or could it be the image this person created is not true image?
Could it be this is illusion?
My guest today, Onee-san!
I still can’t find the right answer. However, with analyze above, it can make me confident that Yukino or Hayato are possible answers more, like everyone else can be, but they were the second round candidates because filter. So what should I find next? Come to think of it, both of them are former childhood friends. So the one I should look for more reasonable info is that person, Yukinoshita Haruno (雪ノ下 陽乃)!
Her first job: Tutor.
This second memorandum was written before c7-8 in LN v10. It’s like that person’s interesting story happened during this period. So the ch I should look for Haruno’s hints, should be the ch before this person will say his/her own monologue. C6 (or anime Zoku ep11).
- Haruno is (like) the older sister of Hayato and Yukino who lived/played together with them. Who will know about both of them more than her?
- In this ch 6 (before the second memorandum will come), Haruno went to Zoku high school to do her job as a tutor. (who gives some assists with education guidance for second years.)
Her second job: Guide.
So Haruno is the suitable person who can give us education guidance…
After she did her job, she asks Hachiman to walk her to the train station. While they are walking together, she knew from him that Hayato didn’t tell what department he interested.
After this update news, Haruno seems understand Hayato a bit. Because she says he would expect something too. and something that will find him, maybe. From her words, I assume that she is in the similar situation from Hayato’s (no one can find them). So she thinks he would need someone to find the real him too. This is my assumption from a clue from her.
In case you want to know why I think Haruno wants someone to find her out too, you can check this Oregairu analysis focused on memorandum of this person out.
Haruno’s two hints gave us they might link with this person’s monologue.
…It seems time is over. Thanks for walking with me, I hope you will find answer soon.
- Hayato expects something that will find him. (Or I think it should be someone too.)
- In case this is someone, I will think some choices. His parents? Friends? or people who is sensitive to the evils of people?
- At least I don’t think his parents will be the right choice, because in LN, we just know their career, wealth & close relationship with Yukinoshita family only. There are no any clues they try to find the real Hayama.
- In case of his friends, I think at least Ebina Hina would understand him more than any friends in clique (yup, even Miura Yumiko (三浦 優美子)). Because from her conversation with Hachiman about Hayama, I think is kind of sensitive in evils of people too. But although she understands him, I don’t think she is “someone” Haruno mentions. Because I can’t see any signal that gives me any clue about Hayama expect something from her.
But I don’t think Ebina’s skill to observe human will be useless. Because the author makes her to tell about this to Hachiman when they are alone (if my memories is not wrong, I think she talks about Hayama to Hachiman while they are going to the party after the marathon or something like that). So it means she gives him the baton to the relay race. If my assumption is not wrong, Hachiman will be the anchorman.
- However, please don’t forget there’s another person who seems understand Hayama, that person is Haruno. Because like I wrote above, she thinks her situation is not different from his. So it’s possible “someone” is Haruno too. However, I don’t think again she will be the one who will do that. I think she is like Ebina, although they would understand him, it’s not like they will confront him in order to help him either. Especially, Haruno. From this moment in the doughnut cafe (in LN v8, anime Zoku ep3, manga -Monologue v7), for Hayama, I think she is in the special position in his heart, but from Haruno’s feeling toward him at the same time, I think she will leave him although she understands him. You can notice more from the moment she is talking with Hachiman in pics above, she is like Ebina when they know about Hayama but they still did the same, talk about this to Hachiman. So I will conclude that he will the last and only choice to do this job.
- This person expects the eyes that looked his/her way from outside. S/he wants those eyes will see through the farce of altruistic self-interest.
- This person expects that “No Longer Hum*n” book or “that person who was unusually more sensitive to the evils of people” might find/see through him/her.
With this list, is it possible that Hayato might be the right answer more than Yukino? Haruno’s hints and monologue of this person connected clearly. Hayato wants something will find him. “Him” can mean “the real Hayato”, not “the nice Hayato”. It is the perfect image that he created.
So Altruistic self-interest = the nice Hayato?
If “the nice Hayato” is image, it means he is not the perfect/nice one like Hachiman and people around him always understood?
If it’s Hayato, why must be Hachiman?
Although all I blah blah about Haruno and Ebina who seem understand Hayato, I still wonder why they are not enough for him? So I will write some questions.
Why does Hayato tell Hachiman that he is not nice guy like he thinks?
These question are interesting because they make Hachiman to the spotlight. Hayato wants him to retry the understanding about him again. Or should I say, look at him carefully again, not just his “nice guy” image (this is not must gay, Ebina-san). If you read my all Oregairu analysis that have “Hayama Hayato” tag, you will understand why Hachiman is the only one he wants to see through his farce of altruistic self-interest.
- Why does Hayato want Hachiman to rise so they will be equal?
- Why does Hayato not like Hachiman and try to compete with him until now (started in LN v4)?
If you read all analysis that have Hayama Hayato tag, you will know answer of these questions. And you will know why Hachiman is the only choice for Hayato. Because he wants this person (who steals her attention already), finally turn around and sees him as “the equal”. The equal means to stand in the same level. And after you try to connect all keywords from two questions above, you will realize what the equal means.
Equal, not like, compete
Why does this person want to be understood sooooo badly?
Like I wrote above, that is the reason. But that’s not the only reason. Talk about understanding, this person has problem no one can understand him/her. This person tried to read books to search for answer for that problem and finally found “No Longer Hum*n” book. This person expects that person will see through him/her. I think this is kind of pleasure/happiness.
If someone understands the real you, the real you who needs to wear perfect image almost 24 hours so people will not harm you, so you can survive in society. It means someone will realize his/her weakness/problem/suffering. I guess this person will continue to wear perfect image endlessly but wants someone to understand his/her suffering. If someone understands the suffering of this person, it is like… s/he was saved or helped.
Understanding the suffering = was saved or helped = Pleasure/Happiness
…Maybe this is “this person’s desire”.
However, when Hayama tells Hachiman during marathon that he wants him to be his equal, I notice he has another unbelievable reason why he decides to tell Hachiman before that he is not nice guy like he thinks. I hope I can write analysis during that period. I will mark this for now.
As I wrote before the second memorandum happened before LN v10 c7-8. The third memorandum happened after c8 so it means this ch should be the conclusion of this person’s way of life.
In LN v10 c8 or anime Zoku ep 11, Hayato is talking with Hachiman in the after-party. He said…
Hachiman knew he did not talking about career path. Hayato can’t decide anything, answers any expectations for so long for his own comfortableness. He can pick the most optimal solution only. This is the safety choice but this makes him regret as well. He told Tobe Kakeru (戸部 翔) to decide his own career path but He is the one who actually regret because he can’t refuse or create new choice.
So not choose.
It’s like Hayato laid down for his destiny so he announced he will continue to answer people’s expectations. It’s like he wants to wear the perfect image and choose the safety path. He decided his way of life and thought this is his own choice. Furthermore, he said he needs to show that there’s someone who isn’t forcing expectations.
He needs to show (everyone) that there’s someone (it’s him) who isn’t forcing expectations.
With this speech, I think Hayato hates people who placed expectations to him but not understand his suffering because these expectations. However, he can’t say anything loudly and directly. So he decides that he will be
hero the one who isn’t forcing expectations to other people.
After I tried reading his comments in this ch, over and over, IMO, there’s no any doubt that Hayama Hayato would be “this person”. However, I found another evidence that points it’s him. A keyword. Watari-sensei wrote hidden keyword in this memorandum as well to points who is the owner of this monologue.
This person in this memorandum talked/worried about him/herself. Look for the answer in books to ease his/her suffering. Expect someone will see the real him/herself. All of these focus on this “person”.
And guess who has a character in his/her name that means “Person”?
隼人 = 隼 means “Falcon” and 人 means “Person”.
Filter process is finish, the final result is…
Yes, the final answer or should I say, the owner of the first monologue is Hayama “Hayato”, as a character in his name has the meaning of “Person”.
However, my final result can be right and wrong too so if you have any different opinion, you can write in Comment below. If you have more notice that I don’t know before, please tell me too.
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I pasted this list so you can explore all memorandums in Oregairu v10. Dozo!
Related Oregairu analysis you should not miss!
This analysis will let you know who is “Y” of Hayama Hayato. Who is that
After you read analysis in this page and analysis about “Y” of Hayama, let me recommend you this analysis! Do you remember Hayama decides Hachiman to be his rival? These two analysis will give unbelievable clues why he dislikes Hachiman.