From Oregairu Zoku ep1, because of a certain boy’s words, I realize that Hayama Hayato (葉山 隼人) was rejected by someone, before he attended to Sobu high school. This Yahari analysis will reveal one of his bitter past.
Before I will start
I actually wrote this post since December (!!) but it took time more than I expected. So I publish this analysis in February. But before you will read this, I strongly recommend you to read LN v7, Yahari Zoku anime ss2 ep1-2 and manga -Monologue- v6 before proceed.
- Please read Attention page first, to let you understand that my all analysis are not 100% right.
- Spoilers up ahead.
- I recommend you to read/watch Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come wa Machigatteiru. (やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている。), Oregairu (俺ガイル) LN/anime Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come wa Machigatteiru. Zoku (やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている。続)/manga Yahari Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru. -Monologue- (やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている。-妄言録-) before proceed.
- My English sucks.
Actually, let me confess to you first that I was not interested what happened in school trip much (except new character design and beautiful scenes in Kyoto). Or should I say, what happened in LN v8 stole my attention completely.
Another reason is I had not understood about thought of each characters. But when I discovered something important, I will write it, in case anyone is interested to read. For example, Why are Yukinoshita Yukino and Yuigahama Yui So Angry at Hikigaya Hachiman (During The School Trip)?
But after I read LN v7, I found something very interesting. I recommend you to read it if you want to know about Hayama, because Yahari anime season 2 ep1-2 are awesome, but they lack important details.
The starting point that made me interest Hayama’s behavior that made me decide to write this analysis, is in Data 1. He stops Hachiman to say “something”, and when he talks with Hachiman again at the riverside during the school trip, I started to think that even Hayama, who is the type that no any girls will refuse him, had bad experience, his life is not all rose.
Data 1: Hachiman’s Topic Is Very Painful.
In the service club, while Hachiman is exemplifying why what Tobe Kakeru (戸部 翔 ) is going to do is risky by telling everyone (Tobe, Hayama, Yukinoshita Yukino (雪ノ下 雪乃), Yuigahama Yui (由比ヶ浜 結衣), Ooka and Yamato (in anime, Ooka and Yamato don’t go to the service club) about his own painful nightmare, but it seems Tobe is not worried about those risks that much because he never experiences something like that before, so Hachiman needs to explain more. The next topic he is going to say is…
the relationship after you confess your feeling to the one you are close.
Data 2: At The Riverside
While Hachiman are talking to Hayama to find out why he didn’t support Tobe as much as he should, some info from Hayama interested me.
“You might be right. But… the things you lose won’t come back.”
He spoke as if he was looking back on past experiences. I wasn’t the type to ask about the deeper implications behind what was said. Whatever happened to Hayama in the past, I had absolutely no interested in.
” We might be able to just pretend it never happened. We’re quite good at that after all.”
These two data are what I will focus on because after I notice that Hachiman’s words in data 1, makes Hayama stop Hachiman to say. And his expression after that…, makes me think that Hachiman’s words impacts him silently, and he needs to stop Hachiman to not explain about that topic more than that. And that topic is “the relationship after you confess your love to the one you are close.”
This Hachiman’s words from Data1 is the first clue to prove my doubtfulness why Hayama tries to stop him.
In this LN v7, the author reveals the important sub stories within the main story. The love experience of Hayama in the past, is one of these sub stories. However, all sub stories are not revealed clearly and completely as the author’s style.
Analyze from Data1
The service club
“Obviously, there’s bunch left. Like for example, the good relationship between you two after you confess.”
is what Hayama ever experienced in the past.
Why do I think like that? At first, I didn’t notice about Hachiman’s words and how Hayama stops him, because I think Hayama doesn’t want him to discourage Tobe more than that. And I agree with Hachiman that Hayama would take care any risks that will happen to his friend. Therefore, I misinterpreted by his expression in anime ss2 ep1, his smile is the only reaction we can get from anime. Anime didn’t show [his other expressions] (such as when he raises his eyes that Hachiman notices that it’s different from the usual Hayama. or when he turns to talk with his other friends that shows his painful smile).
But when I read LN v7 during free time, I started to think it’s …weird. If he recommend service club to Tobe, so the trio will reject Tobe’s request instead of him (I might explain about this later), it’s very odd to stop Hachiman shut his mouth. Because his negative description might discourage his friend and Tobe might change his mind in the end. So stopping Hachiman, is not good for Hayama’s objective. His reactions and objective are not consistent. That’s why I started to suspect why he stops Hachiman.
I think his expressions are the key to reach the answer. Why does his expression change from usual? Why is his smile so painful? And why does he stop Hachiman? So when I reviewed about their dialogues again, I feel that Hachiman’s words impacts Hayama’s mind.
It is like when someone says something that makes you recall your own bad experiences, her/his words would impact you more or less.
For Hayama’s case, it will be like this.
- He has his own bad memories.
- Hachiman’s topic is the same with one of bitter past of Hayama.
- Hayama stops him because he can’t stand to listen what Hachiman is going to explain.
- However, the damage Hayama took, still remains and huge, so his expression changes and he retreats to somewhere to recover his spirit.
So if my assumption is correct, I will analyze from Data 1 that
- the relationship between Hayama and “that person” had been good.
- But after he confessed his own feeling to the one he was close, his action made the relationship between him and that person worse.
Out of Topic
I don’t know that the relationship between him and that person before he confessed, was still good or not for real. But I believe in this clue that the author tried to give us an important story. He has habit to reveal and hide clues at the same time, just like when he gave us clues about Yukino and hid them at the same time via other characters in LN v5 that I explained already in Oregairu Analysis – “When” Yukinoshita Haruno Decides to Help Yukino. That’s why although I have no any solid evidence after all, but I will believe in this insufficient but amazing clue and author’s style.
Actually, the author’s style would be like that in every LN v1-12. Although I took LN v5 as the example, the better example to see his style is LN v4. The author tried to give the important and interesting fact about Yukino’s feeling, concerning the sibling relationship many times, via Kawasaki and Hikigaya sibling.
I have no clue about the response of “the person” Hayama confessed either. Maybe they tried to be like usual, but from his effort to stop Hachiman in Data 1. it’s possible that she didn’t say “OK” and their uncomfortable feeling grew between them and they felt awkward since then. But I can say that Hayama can’t stand to listen to the similar fact from Hachiman that will pierce his heart, and from clue in LN v8 (Yahari ss2 anime ep4), I got conclusion that Hayama ever believed that “she” would accept his feeling, or had the same feeling to him, it means that he considered from their closeness.
From his information in these scenes below, I ever decoded Hayama’s words back then that “that person” has no feeling like that to him, but their closeness or her own attitude toward him, made him misunderstand about her feeling toward him. And Hachiman’s conclusion when they are talking in these scenes, makes the guy beside him review his own love story, and what he says after that, makes Hachiman misunderstands that Hayama is talking about his feeling (Hachiman’s feeling) because Hayama’s words impacts him to the point he can’t say anything (the similar situation from when Hachiman’s topic in Data1 damages Hayama’s mind). But actually, Hayama is talking about his own love story…
- she never love him (or/and anyone).
- the close relationship between both of them (when they are still kids, they are close).
- and that’s why he misunderstood that brought to the result of his next action, confession.
For example, please imagine that Hayama is not different from us, before he will decide to confess his love to someone who is close to him, he would spend time with her until he believed that this girl would accept your feeling, or has the same feeling. So he went to the upper level = confess his feeling to her.
However, I will not explain about that person that Hayama is thinking of in this ep4, because I explained already in this Oregairu Analysis – The TRUTH(s) behind Hayato’s Sacrifice for Hachiman (Part 3). So if you want to know which girl who broke his heart, feel free to read more. When you click this link, since my analysis is too long, you should use shortcut “ctrl”+”F” and search this heading, THE CONCLUSION OF HAYAMA AND THAT PERSON.
I don’t know what happened between them (Hayama, Yukino and Haruno) that made their relationships shattered, because I don’t know which one happened first (Yukinoshita family issue, bullying, confessing), so I will not guess. But if Yukinoshita family is excluded, I can predict the timeline).
- Their relationship was still good.
- He confessed to his crush to the one who is close to him.
- Their relationship started to be distant.
- The bullying incident.
- ?? (If I need to assume, another one seek help from him (or from that person too), that person expected him to save another one, he didn’t answer her/their expectation(s).)
- The relationship between the trio shattered.
- Another one studied abroad to escape the cruel world, Hayama focused on soccer to escape reality, that person is alone.
* 4&5 can happen before 2&3. And if it’s like that, Their relationship in 3) that was worse because he didn’t help Yukino, would be broken as expected. It didn’t start to be distant.
ps. Although I said I will not guess, I can guarantee that “she” who had no the same feeling as him, hates him until this day (according to her malice toward him sometimes), and if you didn’t read my two analysis, I explained that she rejected Hayama two times, in this Oregairu story. I will tell you more that those events happened in LN v8. The second rejection didn’t happen in anime because important dialogues were cut, so you can’t notice that she did that to him, and even Hachiman didn’t notice it either. But anime displays the third rejection (I think it is allowed to show it because the event during the double date is very complex, most people don’t know that it’s the rejection.
The second event when she rejects Hayama, it happens in LN v8. I say “the second” because the first time he was rejected by her for a long time, so when she hurts him again when they are in that place, this would be the second time. You can read how it happened more in
- Oregairu Analysis – And Then, Yukinoshita Haruno Launched Operation Fire Doughnut! (Part 3) – so you will know how she rejects him. Search by using these keywords – ENCOURAGE SOLDIER BEFORE PROCEEDS TO RED ZONE.
- Oregairu Analysis – The Conclusion of Yukinoshita Haruno’s Plan (Operation Fire Doughnut) & The TRUTH(s) behind Hayama Hayato’s Sacrifice for Hikigaya Hachiman (The Last Part). – The third rejection happened after Orimoto Kaori (折本 かおり), Nakamachi, and others left the cafe. And of course, Hachiman didn’t know that she rejects Hayama again, although he is listening too.
Analyze from Data2
With the conclusion that Hayama was rejected by that person, from Hachiman’s words and Hayama’s actions in Data1, I will skip to the event to the scene when he talks with Hachiman again at the riverside during the school trip, because I reviewed LN v7 to find more Hayama’s clues but didn’t find anything until I reached the scene when Hachiman follows Hayama to the riverbank.
The reason why Hayama doesn’t support Tobe like he should as his friend, we know already because he tells Hachiman that he doesn’t want anything to change, he is happy to have his clique like this. And Tobe’s action is leading to the destruction of Hayama’s sanctuary, where he built with his own nice guy image so he can live in the school comfortably.
What is important is we must not interpret some dialogues word by word only. But finding the connection and the consistent with emotions of characters. If I can’t find the consistent, I will exclude that assumption. For example,
Analyze Data 2.1
“You might be right. But… the things you lose won’t come back.”
From this quote, you will see that Hayama says as if he ever lost something that never come back (although Hachiman would think that the guy in front of him is talking about Tobe and Ebina Hina (海老名 姫菜)). So I try to connect [the quote in Data1] and [this quote] together. With this, the story about his love experience expands. So if I need to decode his words above, the result is…
[The relationship between him and that person and that person herself are the “things” he loses, and they never come back.]
And if I need to choose only choice between [the relationship between him and that person] or [that person], I would choose the relationship, because he is answering Hachiman’s words about relationship. So I think “things” Hayama is meaning, is the relationship. Although in the end, they are not different much. Lose relationship = lose her.
Out of Topic Again.
And in this season 2 ep4, the multidimensional plan he launches, becomes the huge mistake that slashes their slim relationship again. But he himself doesn’t know why he can’t recover what he lost, even if his plan is so perfect, until he reaches the answer after read a certain book later, in a certain memorandum in LN v10. When he realizes that he hurt her again, he also reaches the conclusion that she will never be close with him anymore.
Analyze Data 2.2
“We might be able to just pretend it never happened. We’re quite good at that after all.“
These words are another interesting clue to focus. Because when I read LN v7 to this point, I notice that his words this time is …weird, because although I can interpret that Hayama is talking about the situation in his own group, it means he tells Hachiman that his friends have no problem to forget what happened.
But if he tells us that he and his clique can pretend to forget that it never happen, then why is he so worried to the present situation and get in the way? If he thinks his friends can pretend to forget that Tobe’s confession never happen, then he should help him to confess to Ebina, he shouldn’t be worried that his friend’s action will ruin his comfortable place. That’s why I think Hayama is not talking about his own group.
The next question is, then who does he mean? Who are “we” that he is mentioning?
Filter to find the answer.
- To find the answer, what I can do is reviewing the dialogue during the riverside scene again so I might understand Hayama’s thought more. And I don’t think interpreting just one speech, doesn’t work in this case. So I need to look the connection. What do I mean? I mean, the Data 2.1 & 2.2 have a connection because I notice Hayama is thinking of his own past (Data 2.1), so when he talks Data 2.2, I think he is still thinking about his past so he is talking the solution for the broken relationship between him and other people who is not in his clique, in his own style. And that is “pretending that it never happened”.
- And if I need to find out who is/are “other people” that he is mentioning, I just need to look back at [the result of Data 1 analyzing] + [Data 2.1], other people is “the one who is close to him”.
- The next process is, I will filter by excluding his clique, I also exclude everyone who is not close to him too. With this, I can decrease people who are close to him to the two results. Because I will not include his parents (and probably Yukinoshita sisters’s parents) because it’s no way he confessed his love to them. It doesn’t make sense.
- Therefore, I can filter the results to the only one choice, because if he confessed his feeling to someone, it means that there’s only one person (who will confess love to multiple girls in the reality world, that I don’t know. But for his case, there’s only one girl who sits in his heart).
- The person who is the answer, must be close to him before the story of Yahari, because his love profile during high school, is very clean for a popular guy like him. He never confess love to anyone during Oregairu story either. So the answer is not people who started to know him in the Sobu high school either.
- And from the second speech of Data 2.2, he knows well that person and him are skillful at that. If you wonder about how to pretend that his confession never happen, you can explore in
- LN v6, the scene when he meets that person again during the school cultural festival. From Hachiman’s point of view, he thinks their relationship is close, and I also agree.
- In LN v8 (Oregairu anime season2 ep3), some important scenes in anime were excluded, so you can’t see [how Hayama realizes her/his true reason why he was called by that person], and [how that person hurts him after that]. And remained scenes in anime shows how both of them talk shortly only. If those two scenes are included in that event, I believe that watchers will see the true condition definitely.
- Or even v10 (anime season ep10), when he is with that person, they can behave in front of Hachiman and Yuigahama and even Yukino and Mrs.Yukinoshita normally.
- And the scene in LN v11, when that person is disgust him although they talk normally during Pre-Valentine Cooking class.
He and that person can manage to make people believe that their relationship is very positive. But it’s not like they intend to “trick” people, they consider that their negative relationship is something …personal, it’s unnecessary to let other people know or they will gossip about them, it’s like …self defence. Sometimes you have no any choice but pretend to smile or act like normal and even cheerful when you meet someone you hate. No one want other people smell something fishy between them and start “talk show”.
Some people were not taught well by their family and even their lives are miserable, to the point they will seek any entertainment to make them happy or forget the suffering, although it’s just temporarily.
The scene in LN v6 that I mentioned above ⇑, is good example to show that both of them can pretend that their relationship is still close. And I think Hayama wants to believe that person would forget what he did in the past already. Or should I say, he hopes that person will forget it so their relationship would be like as they are pretending (be close for real).
And if you still wonder about that scene I mean, and “we” that Hayama mentions, you can explore more in LN v6 c4 (not bomb). Or if you want to explore more to see how he is jealous and stops that person to not approach Hachiman, you can read more in Oregairu Analysis – “LOVE Plan ♥” of Hayama Hayato During The Cultural Festival? The Time to Reveal This Has Come! (The First Part). And also how he is the one who wants to spend time with her and even tries to win her heart.
However, although both of them are skillful to that, and Hayama wants that person to forget what he did, it seems s/he never forgets what he did, because what happened in LN v8 shows how that person never forgives him and s/he doesn’t mind to reject him again, while Hachiman isn’t catching sight of this rejection, but I notice that her/his hatred leaks from the mask. So if you want to read in full version how it happens and the second rejection, you can read more in Oregairu Analysis – The TRUTH(s) behind Hayato’s Sacrifice for Hachiman (Part 1). And search this paragraph – THE MORE HE REALIZES, THE MORE DESPAIR COMES.
So to sum it sup about analyzing Data 2.2, Hayama is talking about how he wants that person to forget [his own mistake] that hurt that person and the one that person cares for. To forget about it = to reset.
“…I’ve always been thinking. About a way to take back the things that I destroyed.”
From his own mini sin confession above in LN v8 (Oregairu Zoku anime ep4), it connects to another mistake that he did to that person during double date event as well. When he realizes that he fails to take back the things that he destroyed in the past, this moment and his multidimensional plan reflects his own desire (to change her mind, stop hating him and even has the opposite feeling for him.) = reset and recovery (what is he, computer?).
If I sort timeline,
- in LN v7, he imagines the easy way to forget everything (both of them just pretend to forget, as he is doing until now).
- in LN v8 during the certain event, her/his second rejection becomes his impulse to launch multidimensional plan to reset, take back things he destroyed and solve other problems. But the third rejection is the conclusion of his wish.
If that person can forget or even forgive him, it would be like a miracle for him. But since that person realizes what happened during the double date, along with ill intent via his actions, his mission to take back things he destroyed, fails.
So these data are the first broken heart of him who ever experienced the bitter result in the past. His case is similar to what almost happen to Tobe that makes me get near the story between Hayama Hayato and his crush. Maybe it’s possible that he is worried that his friend will be rejected and Ebina might separate from his group, but his peaceful place is his first priority.
Actually, I want to continue to write about his secret plan to use the service club to obstruct Tobe in this post. But this is TL enough (≈ almost 4,400 words). So if I have a chance, I might write more in another post. I can say for now that I don’t mean his actions during the Kyoto trip (because Hachiman concluded about that already), but before they will go to this trip.
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