This post will reveal “the deepest reason” why Hayama Hayato (葉山 隼人) warns Hikigaya Hachiman (比企谷 八幡) to not give up on helping Yukinoshita Yukino (雪ノ下 雪乃) midway like he did. Their conversation happens in LN v13. Or does Hayama begin to be the nice guy for real since he is worried about both of them?
Before I will start.
ps.
- Please read Attention page first, to let you understand that my all analyses are not 100% right.
- Spoilers up ahead.
- I recommend you to read/watch Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come wa Machigatteiru. (やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている。), Oregairu (俺ガイル) LN/anime SS1, SS2 Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come wa Machigatteiru. Zoku (やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている。続) and SS3/manga Yahari Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru. -Monologue- (やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている。-妄言録-) before proceeding.
- My English sucks, such, sub.
Before you will read this post, let me tell you why I decided to write this analysis.
While I was reading LN v13, the scene when Hayama talks with Hachiman at the park, I can’t believe my eyes since I witnessed the true actions and intentions of Hayama in LN v4-12. He tells to Hachiman to not give up midway like he did, face it seriously since Hachiman has motivation and resolution…
Therefore, there is Hayama’s word as below.
“Hikigaya… You are doing it the wrong way. You shouldn’t have to resort to this way.”
So the first thought in my mind is he might has good intention and try to warn Hachiman for real, just like Isshiki Iroha (一色いろは) warned her senpai to not be worried about Yukino-senpai too much or Kawasaki Saki (川崎 沙希) warned him to not spoil her little sister, Kawasaki Keika (川崎 桂花) without any consideration in LN v12 (that WW tried to show the original desire of Hachiman via these two interactions between himself and others).
But controlling my thoughts is important. Since I tried to understand his intentions behind his previous actions many times, those events and my own experience warned me to not believe clear things so easily. So I decided to read v13 again before judge his objective. After I obtained the reasons why he advises Hachiman, I decided to write this analysis.
The answer to this topic is in Interlude 5 that is the event after he finished talking with Hachiman, he meets Haruno. He disagrees she told Hachiman about co-dependency. When Hayama realizes she told this word to Hachiman, it means she wants Hachiman to understand “their true situation”. Understanding it means the possibility Hachiman will end this situation by himself, stops it so her little sister will not rely on him and he will not rely on her sister anymore.
If Hayama doesn’t like Haruno’s intervention (made Hachiman know so he can understand it), it is not because he doesn’t want her to stop them because their condition right now is fine or something like that but because he wants the problem Hachiman tries to obtain to continue, to continue that relationship between Hachiman and Yukino, that is the truth behind his motivation toward Hachiman (although I will not say the motivation above is the original motivation of Hayama since there is the factor (I will call it, his wish) that occurs this motivation – wants the co-dependency between Hachiman and Yukino to continue. So I will explain about his wish later).
The Trap
Hayama’s words at the park and when he talks with Haruno will make us understand that he has goodwill for Hachiman and Yukino. But if I believe his words but not search for the truth behind his words, I will be tricked and misunderstand. So I tried to not let his sin confession and his warning toward Hachiman confuse me such as, “like I did” because Hayama is trying to connect his bitter story and his warning together so he can use him (I will explain later why it is like that). The different opinions of Hayama and Haruno (continues/stops co-dependency) reflects that he is not worried about her little sister and even Hachiman so much to the point he needs to say something to Hachiman.
The truth behind his suffering in the past is his mistake that made Yukino leave her older sister (although the reality is she left him too) that is similar with the news Hayama obtained from Yuigahama Yui (由比ヶ浜 結衣) just now (when Hachiman and Yuigahama came to talk to him) that is Yukino is trying to leave Hachiman and Yuigahama. Although these two situations are not the same 100%, the way Yukino left people she relied on that are her sister and her childhood friend and this time are her club members. Yukino’s action (abandoned her older sister) is one of the reasons that made “that person” never forgives Hayama until this day.
Yuigahama: “Yukinon… Yukinon wants to prove that she could do it on her own. Otherwise, she’d end up depending on Hikki and me. She decided not to let that happen.“
Hayama: “…that’s what she said..?”
OOT a bit
The reasons Yukino left people she relied upon in the past and people she relied on at the present, some reasons between these two cases are the same, some are not. The new reason is this time “some people” told her before that worst ending will happen again for real. So to end this problem, she decided to “end her precious thing” in the last Interlude in LN v13 (although she decided to pull away from them in v12).
That person who can see through Yukino’s action and another one who said as if he couldn’t answer “that heavy expectation of Yukino” are the certain sister and this boy in the images below and the second image is the moment when Yukino knew his true feeling (can’t save her from the family aka mother) that lead to her decision to finish this codependency state (LN v11, anime Zoku ep13). Hachiman’s word is the key she understood it and decided to end it latterly. And Haruno’s effort to warn Hachiman many times (LN v10-12) is to not make them (her precious people) reach “that ending” that is the ending that she, Yukino and Hayama experienced in the past. Reaching that ending again means her little sister will hurt again (even the obstructionist will hurt too) so this is the truth behind Haruno’s interference.
It is not like I want to judge Yukino but in order to find Hayama’s feeling, I need to explore their past, and in order to understand their past, I need to explore their feeling and how things happened between both of them. To see how the disaster was occurring, Tsurumi Rumi (鶴見 留美)‘s situation during the summer camp (LN v4) is the good reference although it is not the best reference since the violence can’t be compared with what happened to Yukino. How Hayama boy at that time approached to her is like pouring the oil to the flame in girls’ hearts. Rumi had no someone like that.
Let’s return to the conversation between Yuigahama and Hayama above again. Yuigahama’s information Hayama heard earlier and made him suffer in front of his friends and Hachiman for some reason are very interesting because it will make us understand what he will do after he heard “Yukino’s decision”. Before I will explain how it goes, let me tell you his timeline first.
He knew Yukino’s decision from Yuigahama.
⇓
He talks with Hachiman at the park.
This short timeline can make me realize that he got some plan for Hachiman (again!?). And I can say it is because he knew “why” Yukino is doing that and how things will be in the future. Yukino’s action this time makes him regret so much but it is not because he regrets with the direct reason but because Yukino’s action connects with that person’s feeling, her action will make “that person” never forgive him, got it? I mean… Yukino’s doing will not make that person forget his mistake in that past. If that person will never forgive for what he did because her sister’s state is still continue, the hope she will reach him/find him would be…
Oregairu Analysis – 2nd Memorandum: Or, It Can Be This Person’s Monologue.
You can find his deepest desire toward that person in the second memorandum in LN v10.
Since the truth behind Yukino’s action that Hayama detected, it is the indicator that shows the wound in her heart. When that mortal wound still remains, the mortal wound in that certain person’s heart also remains. A factor leads to another the result, the result becomes the factor that leads to another result, until the circle reaches to the final result. Since Hayama’s suffering is the result of Haruno’s hatred, her negative emotions toward him are like the big wall between both of them he wants to move it. This is how Yukino’s action at the present makes him suffer.
Interpreting Yukino’s objective and the short timeline make us can understand the true suffering of Hayama after he heard it from Yuigahama step by step and the reason why and how he tries to “provoke” Hachiman’s self-will latterly.
Yuigahama’s word above makes him understand quickly because he was another one who experienced this situation before and because there are “Haruno” inside every brain cells of him (if you read his memorandum in LN v10). Haruno’s feelings toward him are the most important factor that affects his feeling. That’s why he can connect things, get the conclusion and suffers (to the point he doesn’t hide his expression in front of Hachiman, Yuigahama and Tobe Kakeru (戸部 翔)) as the result, 3 in 1.
It is like using the reference from the past to consider how things are happening at the present.
⇓
How things will be in the future (the truth behind how Yukino wants to prove she can do it on her own).
⇓
That person must understand the truth behind Yukino’s decision like Hayama understands since she was the one who also experienced the conclusion of the co-dependency among her own group (her, her sister and Hayama).
⇓
And the final result that is how that Onee-san will feel if she realizes Yukino’s decision.
(that she already knew this during their conversation in Yukino’s apartment in LN v12, Hayama doesn’t know this fact)
When he realized Yukino’s state that is the reason why she left this time, he can conclude “the next result”. This next result is the future that is if her little sister is doing that same thing again, it means his sin in the past, the mortal wound of that person will never be forgotten from that person’s mind. This future is the origin he felt depressed after heard Yuigahama’s word. Steps would be like this.
Another evidence of my assumption toward Hayama’s feeling above is in LN v12. Previously, after he knew the news from someone that her little sister came back to her house, he approached to Hachiman as if he “wanted to ask” how Hachiman is feeling after the weight (burden) fell off his shoulders after “his little sister” didn’t rely upon him anymore. But I think Hayama’s question reflects his own thought, his own happiness. He wanted to …reveal/share his own feeling to Hachiman after his own burden fell off his shoulders.
His opinion toward Hachiman at that time is the symbol that reflects Hayama’s satisfaction (although the burden Hachiman took on might exist for real (judge from his uncomfortable feeling he tried to ignore it many times in LN v11), its weight Hachiman assumed can’t be compared with the burden Hayama carried all times). When Yukino came back home, Hayama felt that his burden finally ended. If she came back, it means that person will not blame him for what he did anymore. This is his previous understanding. And this moment also proves if he cares for Yukino’s feeling.
…Could it be Hayama also sensed Hachiman’s strain? I detect HayaxHachi!!
I will give the credit to LN as always and manga -Monologue-. This manga has an image that shows the overview that reflects how Yukino returns to Haruno and Hayama. You can search for that image, the reunion of the trio version 1 (Hayama and Yukinoshita sisters).
When we considered things in LN 12-13, we can see how Hayama was misunderstanding. He misunderstood the burden he carried until now, vanished. But the truth is that sin never clears away. Yuigahama showed him the bitter truth.
His sin confession to Hachiman is because he has nobody who can listen to his regret that also shows how he manipulates relies upon Hachiman even if this person is the only one he hates so much but if you are going to give him some sympathy, I will not stop you but telling his suffering is one of the steps for “his own plan” too, to use Hachiman make Hachiman help him for something (that I will explain later).
The Whisper of Demon
This point will explain how he will use Hachiman in LN v13. After he finally understood his sin will never be forgotten from that person’s heart, he asked Hachiman to talk privately (Tobe, his royal subordinate friend detected Hayama’s signal so he brought Yuigahama away) and shared his suffering blah blah so he can incite this guy’s self-will as you can see how he warns him after sharing his regret. Provoking Hachiman’s self-will is like pouring the oil to the fire that means Hayama knows how Hachiman will act if he said like that, will feel if he said as if “this guy is teaching me, he can see right through me, he irritates me so much”, something like that. Hachiman’s rejection after Hayama’s warning is how it will be. This rejection is what Hayama is aiming (I will explain the whisper of demon can manipulate its prey later).
To sum it up, we would see that Hayama wants Hachiman to face it with all his might, to help Yukino but I don’t mean he has the goodwill or something like that but he wants both of them to rely upon each other for his own benefit. Hayama urges Hachiman to continue that state to …conceal his (Hayama’s) own cruel truth to deceive “someone”, use bright color to cover that unsightly paint, color his own mistake in the past that he can’t erase it so it will be another thing that is …softer that is her little sister is not doing the same thing she did at that time, no one hurt her, and she is not alone since she has someone (Hachiman) beside her.
Manipulating Hachiman this time is not different from using him and her younger sister because if Hayama wants Hachiman to help Yukino, it means he needs to use her for his own plan tacitly. All of these is for using anyone for his own benefit but the one he wants to deceive her, change her mind the most is someone you would know who. The evidence that shows why/how he wants to suppress that sin that leads his solution to use Hachiman and her younger sister is his own monologue after he heard Haruno’s word and her reaction.
I just couldn’t get an opportunity to atone.
That’s why I pushed it onto him. At least they alone would be able to.
The first line is his reason, the next line is his solution.
Explain Hayama’s objectives.
Since that person doesn’t forgive him, he conceals his own sin (that is his midway effort to save her little sister at that time) in order to fade her anger/hatred away because of his fault, he provides fake thing by using those two because he hopes… no, prays they would help him solve this problem so that person will accept this fake thing he exhibited someday. It is hopeless striving of this boy if you ask me but if this can convince her, her negative emotions toward him would be dissipated and run out someday.
But his original objective is not this only because his intention (that I underlined above) is the result that reflects another intention of him. That is convincing her to have the same feeling as him. To explain this, we need to return to when he tells Haruno that…
Hayama: “They were fine as they were. Just like that, little by little…”
Haruno: “Isn’t that just a sham? I only want to see the real thing.”
(Skip)
Hayama: “I think there are feelings that can grow from there.”
If Hachiman and Yukino continue that state, just like that, little by little… I think you would know what feelings Hayama mentions is. It is not plural but single, that certain feeling. But I need to answer a question first. The question that if he expects those two will have that feeling for real is not what I can find the answer. However, I think he has no goodwill for both of them since this is for his own benefit, to make them solve the problem he doesn’t dare to seize a chance to solve. But what I can confirm is his expectation toward Hachiman and Yukino is the symbol that reflects his own wish toward his crush.
He is the one who confesses that he is jealous of those two’s relationship. When he feels like that, it means he also wishes to have that relationship with someone because that fake relationship would answer his original wish. If I need to explain his imagination, it would be like this. ⇓
If both of them (he and Haruno) will be like that too, just like that, little by little… he thinks there is that feeling that can grow from there, from that relationship.
This is his imagination toward her. When he thinks the relationship is fine, it also means he is fine to obtain that relationship.
After I read his monologue after he admits he is jealous of them, I …don’t know how to say for his seasoning his own thoughts that leads to his own conclusion that this distorted sham can’t be called a fake. This shows how Hayama is stubborn, knows how things will end but insists to choose it, like a certain boy he hates.
This will be an argument of this theory or not.
Before I decided to write this post, I searched for any clues that are not consistent with my assumption about the reason why Hayama tells Hachiman to not give up midway. Yes, I found one.
Hayama: “Hikigaya… You are doing it the wrong way. You shouldn’t have to resort to this way.”
No matter I interpreted his word and reaction to find the hidden meaning or TL directly, I got the same meaning that is he is trying to warn Hachiman! Unbelievable! Or he is going to be the nice person for real (I am not sarcastic)? I almost believe it is like that because there’s no ill will behind this action. But after I explored Interlude 5, he agrees with their codependency… If the theory that he is a nice person and his opinion in this Interlude are inconsistent, I decided to review his word above again but this time I used the different method to interpret his intention.
Now I included feelings of both characters, HayaxHachi in this consideration to find the intention of Hayama, the seme (you can search for the meaning of Seme in GG)!
- After Hayama warned Hachiman for the first time, Hachiman, the uke, is upset at him.
- When Hayama sees Hachiman’s response like that, Hachiman’s reaction and word reflect his emotion and ego that can be noticed by Hayama that Hachiman will reject/deny his words, no matter what he will say. It is like Forbidden fruit is always sweeter. If Hayama says Hachiman to go left, he will go right. The edification from someone like him who can see right through his deepest desire behind his actions many times is the being he will not listen to.
- Hachiman’s case is the same as Hayama’s. If you read LN v6, for example, when both of them consult who will go to visit Yukino (she is sick at that time), Hayama disagreed to do as Hachiman said and he was angry at Hachiman’s words for some reason until he was satisfied for Hachiman’s new answer.
- Both cases are the same that both of them can’t stand when another side act as if he is lower than the other. They feel inferior at each other.
- So return to the park in LN v13 again, I assume that Hayama understands how Hachiman feels toward him (Hayama) so he takes another step. He turns to him and says again as the quote above. Please imagine how Hachiman will feel if Hayama said like that. If he says Hachiman is doing the wrong way, Hachiman will reject it. If he says Hachiman should not resort to this way, Hachiman will go straight to that way, got it? This is how Hayama “pushes forward” Hachiman for his own benefit, how Hachiman dances to the rhythm Hayama directed, and it will be consistent with Hayama’s monologue below. If Hayama doesn’t understand him very well, he can’t make him do as he expected.
I just couldn’t get an opportunity to atone.
That’s why I pushed it onto him. At least they alone would be able to.
That’s why this argument (Hayama warns Hachiman for the second time) is not the argument for my analysis.
The consideration points
The first consideration point
This analysis makes me see the steps of Hayama’s thoughts and actions that lead to convincing Hachiman to help Yukino seriously. It also makes me see the pressure on his (Hayama) shoulders in the past. Personally, I don’t think what he did to his childhood friend is correct but after I reviewed from another point of view, he also was forced by someone to save her sister. The expectation to make others do something s/he doesn’t want to do…, although it’s for the correct thing, this thought is still not the correct thing. This expectation is like praying but it is not different from the push.
If someone forces us to do something we don’t like or have no motivation to do it, we would be worried or estranged. Since Hayama was forced by Haruno’s expectation (I assumed that she was the one who asked him to help her sister because he was the only hope) but he had no motivation to jump to the fire, gave up midway, I judged him as the *** boy (I still think he was still like that). My eyes were like the half-moon because I couldn’t like his action (sacrifice the other to save himself). But after I reviewed his story, I also see him as the sufferer because it seems he was not willing to do this, the involuntary servitude (I assumed like this because Haruno knew his feeling (he didn’t want to do it) from the hidden meaning in Hayama’s words in the link below). ⇓
I think he couldn’t reject her request because he didn’t want his precious, their relationship to be destroyed.
I feel WW presents the characters’ expectations toward others many times. Most endings for this issue are the misunderstanding toward people who are expected. To think the nature of that person is invariable, to think s/he can do as “I” believe despite people’s thought always change and each individual likes to care for her/himself (caring for her/himself is not the bad thing). That’s why for Hayama’s case, if people who pushed things onto him but when things were not as they hoped, they suffered, can end their thoughts and one of their sufferings will end. Caring for her/his feeling is much more important than any success.
There is another notice. Since Hayama who has pushed things in the past should be the one who understands the feeling of people who are in the same situation. But in Oregairu story, it seems he used to do what he doesn’t want others to do to him. …ummmm
For my assumption that Haruno ever asked him to save her sister, you can find her word at that time that is hidden in Hayama’s word in LN v8 (after five girls left the cafe and HayaxHachi are still there). But if you want to read that hidden meaning that I decrypted, you can read more in this post (and click ctrl+F and use this keyword – Analyze the hidden meaning in His words – The conversation between Haruno and Hayama (that happened in the past ). There is her reprehension over there too.
The second consideration point – his meaningless effort
Since Haruno already knew Yukino’s decision in LN v12, it means Hayama who doesn’t know this but he still struggles to ease her hatred toward him. I want you to see how he imaginings things that he must solve this problem (by asking Hachiman & Yukino for help) because Haruno understands that her little sister’s decision is the way to be an adult, the adult who gives up on things… that is the same path as hers (that she told this to Hachiman in v12 but her explanation reflects her own path because she knows that Yukino’s path is not different from hers).
However, I don’t mean this will fulfill Hayama’s hope. This doesn’t mean giving up on things of Haruno will make her look at him or find him as he wishes all times in the 2nd memorandum (I think it is safe to spoil you who is the owner of this memorandum already) because both of them will … by the big event from now on will be coming soon.
Oregairu Analysis – Arranged Marriage (Or Engagement) Might Happen For REAL!?
The title said it.
What I want to say is his striving is meaningless already. The true reason why it is pointless because of his own previous struggling in LN v8 that decided his destiny decided the conclusion between him and her already. If you don’t know what I mean, it means you didn’t read my previous analyses (The conclusion of Haruno’s operation & the truth behind Hayama’s sacrifice for Hachiman – all parts) yet. I think the post links would make this post untidy so I recommend you to find them in “Bento Analyses” page instead.
If you have stamina enough to read until you read all parts of the conclusion of Haruno’s operation blah blah blah, you will see how all of his efforts hurt everyone includes the certain detective, Haruno. Since she finally knew his true objectives and how he used everyone continuously for his own benefits, the one thing that hurt her the most is how he lured her to hurt her own little sister. The pain and the truths she was feeling and thinking because of him, lead to her short conclusion about him that she told him in front of his love rival.
That’s why Haruno understands the true Hayama already at that time. Or I should say since she looked at him and found him already, she said like that to him that is not different from another rejection. This is the third rejection by her if you ask me but I think how she will escape from him in the future will be the final rejection.
You might be confused why I explain this but my friend, this will connect with the reason why his striving is meaningless in LN v13. I wrote somewhere I suspect he ignored her final rejection because I connect [what happened in v8 and the 2nd memorandum (that his monologue)] together, got it? In this memorandum in v10, you will see how he doesn’t accept her judgment at that time to the point he tried to find how to solve his problem in books. That’s why I will not bet his effort (in v13) will recover his situation since Haruno found the fixed conclusion about him in v8 (but he rejects this cruel truth) and understood the truth behind her sister’s decision in v12. That’s why although both of them will be going to walk the same path because of the certain big event adults of their families are concurrent, it doesn’t mean he will seize her heart.
How can I explain how his wish will not come true? What I want to say is IN CASE they will be living together but Haruno who understands him and her sister already, the possibility she will has that feeling to him as he said to her in v13, is not what I will bet because his previous struggling closed the curtain of that possibility already. And I notice Haruno has a hard heart too, she will not surrender to what people accept. If she says it is wrong, she will not change her mind no matter people around will confirm it is fine. I think it is because her wish to see the true thing (the true people & how to do the true thing) among fake thing (the fake people & what they did) is the last and only sanctuary of her who can’t find the way to escape from the whirlpool of despair by herself. This also explains why she meddles with Hachiman and his group in v11. That’s why she doesn’t surrender to accept what other people showed to her because if she accepts this, it is like “the end” in her book that she can’t flip the next page.
Oregairu Analysis – 3rd Memorandum: If so, just whose monologue was it?
Haruno’s true situation that I mentioned that she is lost in the whirlpool of despair is in the last memorandum in LN v10.
Actually, the reason in v8 alone destroyed his dream completely (but his refusal made him ignore her rejection and threw it somewhere in his mind) but Haruno’s understanding about Yukino’s decision is like the emptiness for his effort in v13. No matter how he tries to use people so his crush will forgive him, all of them are empty. And the culprit who makes his effort be in vain is not anyone but himself.
When I notice her while she is talking to him after he talked with Hachiman, she doesn’t forgive for what he has done but from what she said in LN v12, it seems she gives up or is going to give up on things, on her own life. But how she gives up like this is not the factor that she will accept him gently someday because the truth she saw in v8 is a clear memory. If she will never l*** him as he wishes, it means she will not help him from the loneliness as you can find the reason why he wants her to find him in the 2nd memorandum. It also means his last secret operation (I will call it, the nice guy) in v13 is completely white.
The third consideration point
And if they will live together, it means his future is to be the loner as the present, Haruno’s is no different except she will have someone else as the sanctuary. …Oh, god.
But Haruno’s future will not be like I said, I just said in case both of them will be together only. The possibility this imagination Hayama wishes to happen (that is get married to her) also is white, is zero because I believe a certain author will destroy this possibility. On the other hand, she will be saved by people she always is looking for. And that person she mentioned in the third memorandum will show her the way. Showing her the true way means she will escape from the despair too. This means she and other people except for the guy who launched the operation, the nice guy, will go to the new path.
Related Topics
1. Things Haruno hold dear.
Sometimes, WW used different pronouns to hide the true name/pronoun in the characters’ words. In Interlude 5, when Hayama is thinking about Haruno’s truth toward that person.
It never changes. To make sure nobody could hurt the things she held dear any further, she’d hurt it first herself. And she would never forgive anyone that hurt it; not a single person.
I think you might find the meaning of “things and it” already but I still interpret them anyway. I think both words have the same meaning because Hayama is thinking about “that summer” too.
It never changes. To make sure nobody could hurt
the thingsher sister she held dear any further, she’d hurtither first herself. And she would never forgive anyone that hurtither beloved sister; not a single person.
2. Do you hate ___ that much?
This is Hayama’s question for Haruno in Interlude 5. I don’t need to analyze because anyone can guess the answer must be a character. Since Haruno disagreed the idea Hachiman and Yukino should continue that relationship and I never think the answer is her younger sister because this choice (Do you hate Yukino that much, for example) will hurt him after heard it. So the choices would be him (Hachiman) or me (Hayama). But after Hayama listens to her answer, his opinion toward that answer makes us know which character she means.
This is a curse.
I just couldn’t get an opportunity to atone.
After considered these lines, Hachiman is one of people Haruno tried to prevent him to not hurt her sister any further so she decided to hurt her sister first herself (that we can see in anime season 2 ep13) and even hurt him many times after he tried to continue the co-dependency state with her younger sister while Hayama is the only one she would never forgive because he hurt her sister, she realized that he had “no motivation, no resolution” and his mid-way action (the nice boy – helped her sister by gathering her and bad girls together) was one of the factors that shattered their close relationship = the permanent damage.
Therefore, his opinion that “he can’t get a chance to atone” makes me think the answer would be him more than Hachiman. However, I will not conclude which character is the answer since I need the reference that I can see this moment, manga Monologue or anime ss3 (but I hardly believe I can find anything from season 3 because ss1-2 lack important moments between Hayama and Haruno or those scenes were modified) to confirm this because when I imagined the answer is him (Hachiman)…, it is still possible and such complex (Do you hate Hikigaya that much?, for example)!
If the answer is Hachiman.
If they are talking about his rival for real, the mental damage in Hayama’s mind would be… because this answer also reflects that she is telling the truth and how she has no interest of the listener too. If she tells him the truth, this can count as another rejection! If Hayama is asking about his rival, it means Haruno rejects him for the fourth time! A certain author will not make things easy!
If the answer is Hayama.
But if they are talking about me (Hayama), it means she is lying to him but her reactions say another. It is as if… she is surprised but satisfied to see him (Hayama) suffer to the point he asked her. Her contentment has the reason (he was the one who hurt her (hurt me & my sister = hurt ME)).
However, both of them are just my wide imaginations so you should not believe them before other references will descend to us. That’s why I have high expectation to see things in manga -Monologue-!! But if I need to give my answer for now, I would point at Hayama, that will be “Do you hate me so much?”. Haruno’s reaction and words are not honest but for Hayama who is watching her, realizes her true feeling behind her manner at that time.
End!
I have 2-3 topics to write before v14. I hope I will find more topics. Which one do you prefer?
- How does Haruno know Hachiman will make Yukino come out?
or - Hello Mr.Panda book, Yukino’s precious treasure
- The scariest horror story of Hiratsuka Shizuka that will scare the life out of you.
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Related Oregairu analyses you should not miss!
When the first Haruno’s judgement descended to him. When He needs Yukino and Yuigahama as his allies!! How he uses Yukino’s situation so that person will find Hachiman’s truth.
I am too lazy to paste every links to show you how he uses Hachiman or Haruno. There are too much.
Yahari Bento 
Thank you again, great as always.
As far as i remember, you’ve already written somewhere about topic number 1, haven’t you?
Anyway, i vote for number 3
“The scariest horror story of Hiratsuka Shizuka that will scare the life out of you“
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Thank you for your praise.
Do you mean this post?
Oregairu Analysis – Why does Yukinoshita Haruno Call Yukino Over?
Number 1 will be little different from this post. It will explain why Haruno is so sure if she uses 8man as a bait, Yukino will come out.
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you can expand how Hayama will finsing his own catharsis seeing Hachiman and co moving foward together and Hachiman finding Haruno
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Unluckily I can’t write the fiction but he’d get what he chose.
Well, Yumiko’d stop him to do that anyway.
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